Sobriety Check-In & Thoughts

December has been an awesome month for me! For one thing, I’ve never been so far ahead on Christmas shopping and wrapping gifts in my whole life; hell I never even bought people gifts for most of my life because I waited til the last minute and spent most of my money on beer / video games / fast food. This year I had most of my shopping done in the first few days of December and wrapped them pretty much right away so today I’m sitting pretty while the rest of my family is frantically wrapping last minute gifts (we’re all generally bad people, I’m just the only one aware enough about it to try to change).

Another big reason December (and the end of November) has been so awesome is that the medication I was put on (Lamotrigine) is PHE-NO-MENAL! It doesn’t give me a high or turn me into a zombie like other medications I’ve tried (Paxil, Fluoxetine), it just balances out my mood so I don’t sink into week-long depressions or have manic days where I spend all my money. I kind of miss the chemical bravery that Paxil gave me but I know that social skills are something that I can teach myself. To be honest I’m not nearly as bad as some people I’ve met so I can’t really beat myself up too much for being awkward around women and manly men.

My mood being balanced has led to a lot of other great changes. I’ve consistently been going to the gym at least every 3 days whereas before I’d go for 2 days and then quit for a month, eliminating any chance of making progress. If I wake up not feeling like going it’s a lot easier for me to psyche myself up and just do it instead of laying in bed for an hour. It might help that I have an Amazon Echo that turns on my lights and starts playing music at 6AM every day. I’ve enrolled in a REAL college (instead of community) and start on the 7th. I got everything done kind of late so was only able to get into 3 of the 5 classes needed for my first semester but I thought I wasn’t going to be able to go at all until spring so I am still ahead. I’m getting a bachelors in science with a focus on cybersecurity. The school I’m going to is ranked as one of the best for cybersecurity in the country. My cousin, a high school teacher who teaches IT as an elective, told me about it and said that most students here get hired before they even finish the degree. I want to get a degree but am not opposed to working a better job through college.

I’ve been reading and listening to audiobooks a lot. They really are the easiest, best way to improve your life. I use the Scribd app (I think I mentioned that before; not trying to advertise I just love it) which has tons of audiobooks on pretty much any subject and I just listen in headphones at work. I got through Tyrant: Shakespeare on Politics and The Science of Habit (I think?) in one day. I’ve slowed down since then… I tend to put a lot of attention on new things and then slack off later but thanks to my MOOD DRUGS I am still keeping up an average pace. Currently reading Blueprint by Robert Plomin and My Morning Routine by Benjamin Spall. Blueprint argues that genetics are far more responsible for who we are than our environment and upbringing, contrary to most pop psychology. My Morning Routine just goes through the routines of about 50 different successful people so you can get some ideas. Lots of variety although the vast majority of them have some sort of exercise as soon as they wake up.

So that’s my month. Still trying to get into a better writing routine but I have some ideas on how to do that which I’m going to try out in January. See you soon, hopefully!

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