It’s Been a Rough Few Weeks

I believe last I checked in I was just starting a Zoloft prescription. Everything was pretty standard for the first couple of days but then I sunk into a depression the likes of which I have never experienced. I stuck it out for three weeks thinking that eventually the meds would kick in and I’d be flying high but it just kept getting worse and worse. By last week I couldn’t even get out of bed except to go to work. The only thing that saved me was the knowledge that it was just my medication and I wasn’t actually this sad. I definitely see why they say suicidal ideation is a potential side-effect of SSRI’s, though.

Although antidepressants hadn’t made me more depressed in the past, this was a somewhat familiar feeling. Without any sort of stress or anxiety I lose all will to do anything productive. Being anxious about failure and social seclusion is what drives everything that I do. Once those fears were completely eradicated all I cared about was sleeping and playing video games. I didn’t even eat most days (which is great now that I’m back to normal and 10 pounds lighter).

Unfortunately this three week loss of action has completely screwed me for my upcoming 5K. I haven’t run so much as a quarter mile in almost a month and I only have two weeks before my race. I’m not going to do well by any measure but I’m still going to do it. Maybe I’ll surprise myself…

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