Lentils & Sweet Potato

Just a short post this morning since I posted twice yesterday. I’m having a bit of an unscheduled morning which makes me a little anxious but it’s my own doing! I forgot to pick up my prescription yesterday; now I have to go to the pharmacy at 8:00 because the one I called it in to is the only one in my area not open 24 hours. I start work at 8:00, so I’m going to be late. Normally, I’m an hour early, so nobody will mind. I just don’t like my routine being off.

Yesterday I behaved like an addict, full disclosure. Work was very slow and boring and I had an appointment with my chiropractor at 5:00 so I left early. Way early. I have the time off to do that, it just wasn’t a very responsible thing to do. Acting like an addict means that I sat in front of the computer most of the afternoon pounding Diet Coke (my new habit; I don’t even like it but I compulsively drink it).

Sooner or later, sooner probably, I’m going to have to figure out how to quit gaming and drinking soda. They’re the two last holdovers from my addiction days and are really keeping me from getting things done some days. I still do a lot more than I did when I was a full-blown alcoholic, but I waste two to three hours a night on things I don’t need to be doing. I have to remember to balance this, though. I can’t be doing productive things every minute I’m awake with no downtime or fun activities planned. The problem is that a lot of the activities people think of as fun are chores for me. Going to the beach with my family, camping, etc. Usually, I don’t want to be there.

That could have a lot to do with my addiction, though. I don’t want to be there because I’d rather be in front of the computer drinking Diet Coke.

10 thoughts on “Lentils & Sweet Potato

    1. Yeah, it used to really be a struggle but I’m cheating with medication now which makes it a lot easier to force myself to do something, haha. I wish I could do it without the pills but I tried very hard for the whole year I was sober through dieting, exercise, and reading personal development books and it just didn’t work for me.

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  1. You write extremely well, by the way, Brian. Funny, I got into gaming a couple years ago and it’s been a real help to keep me out of the pubs. The last two Deus Ex in particular and more recently Destiny 2 and WoT’s! Your blog is one of the best I’ve seen. Just keep being you, being real, being transparent and the rest (writing ideas etc) will follow. You’re tending a garden that has fresh seedlings just yet, which will grow of their own accord. I look forward to seeing it all in full bloom – which like the Tao will/can come naturally if you let it. 👍😊

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    1. Thanks, Nelson I really appreciate the compliments! I love Deus Ex! When the very first one (in the late 90s or early 2000s I think) came out, I played it over and over. Big clue toward my obsessive personality that would develop into alcoholism, for sure. Wasn’t able to see that at the time of course. I have Destiny 2, got it in a bundle, but I’ve never played it. I shy away from multiplayer games because getting destroyed by 12-year-olds isn’t fun for me. Haha!

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      1. LoL…the PvE campaign is fantastic. You can go a LONG way into the game without having to do any PvP, which I don’t like either. I use a controller on on my PC on all of my games, so that handicaps me in PvP I think, but not at all in PvE play. The only PvP part that I do are the “Strikes” which are damn good fun. And you DON’T need to grind for stuff in it either, unless you want to. Most everything drops as you go about doing the campaign, quests and strikes. Do check it out, it’s extremely well done.

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