Consistency

Ever since I started writing more frequently, there’s been an explosion of activity on my blog which is exciting considering almost nothing happened for a whole year! I contemplated giving up, even did for a few months before a couple of fellow bloggers convinced me to continue. Writing for me isn’t about being a super successful blogger who has advertisements covering his page and selling referrals but it is, of course, nice to know that there are people out there reading what I write and who empathize with the things I say.

I’m afraid my consistency in blog posts might not last, though. Simply from knowing myself, I know that eventually, I lose interest in everything that I do. It’s part of the curse of ADHD that I’ve put up with my whole life. For those of you who also struggle with attention deficit, you understand the struggle. I just listened to an interview between Joe Rogan and Bernie Sanders last night, which I recommend checking out even if you aren’t a Bernie fan (I never was but I respect his opinion more after this interview). There’s a point at which they briefly talk about ADHD and how the medication affects kids and Senator Sanders says that when he was young, kids just ran around and fidgeted and that’s the way they were. That’s not what ADHD is, unfortunately. Yes, I fidget a lot and can’t keep my mind focused on one thing when I’m not medicated, but I also move rapidly between hobbies and activities. One week I will be enthralled with drawing and a week later there will be nothing I can think of that is more boring. With medication, this is changing, but I’m bracing myself for the loss of interest.

Besides that, the time I spend writing right now is actually the time I usually spend at the gym. I hurt my back four weeks ago and decided last week to stop working out to try to give it time to heal because nothing was working. It’s been excruciating and unbearable… I can’t stand on my feet for more than 30 minutes at a time without doubling over from the pain. Even sitting sometimes hurts. On my lunch breaks at work, I lie on the floor under my desk and read in order to give my back a rest!

Perhaps I’ll schedule another time to write; certainly possible. Once I heal, though, I do plan on going back to the gym daily. I’ve never been in better shape in my life and don’t want to waste the motivation I’ve found to get healthy. I used to joke that “you only live once and I want to try to get a six-pack before I die!”, knowing that I didn’t consistently work out and drank enough beer every day to have a keg instead of a six-pack on my torso. But, it’s starting to look very possible! There are muscles peeking through my formerly pre-diabetic belly fat, finally.

I love writing and wish to continue for as long as possible. As I mentioned in a comment on the Fractured Faith Blog, I’d even like to start writing a book. My good (one of the best) friend Shelby has been prodding me to do this as well which has motivated me to finally start thinking about what I could possibly write about. I’ve had many, many ideas over the years. Fiction? Non-fiction? I sometimes joke that it is a right of passage in sobriety to write a book about how you have all the answers, maybe it’s my turn to do that!

Anyway, that’s enough for this morning. Time to put some pants on. As always, thank each and every one of you for reading. I hope those of you on my side of the world have a great day, and those of you on the other have a great night!

 

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