Dealing with Burnout Again

Just not feeling it today. By “it” I mean “anything”! I normally try to post super cheery, optimistic things, because there’s already plenty of negativity out there if that’s what someone wants to read, but allow me to indulge for today. I won’t get too negative! Thank you, my friends.

I had a long list of things to do after work last night but instead I went straight to bed. I’m not sure what happened, it almost feels like my medication has suddenly stopped working. That’s impossible, right? Whereas before I was full of energy and motivation to git ‘er done, all I want to do right now is sleep and watch TV. I don’t feel depressed, and really don’t think that I am. I just don’t wanna. Anything.

So, I took a maintenance morning. I normally wake up at 4:30, jump out of bed with my feet already running, read and write my WordPress content for the day, and plan out my morning in my planner. Not today! I slept until 6am, showered, and left for work. I still haven’t even filled out my planner although I know I will when I’m done with this because I simply can’t function successfully without it. Even just writing this, I’m already starting to feel a little better. It could also be the energy drink starting to work its delicious carcinogenic magic. Yep, didn’t feel like making coffee this morning so I got a Lo-Carb Monster and two donuts. Gluttony is my sin for today!

My nose is still a constant worry. I think I traumatized myself, haha! It’s totally clogged with scab and snot (I’m sorry for that visual) and I want to blow my nose so desperately but I’m scared to until at least Thursday night (two full weeks). Even then I’ll probably still be scared. I just can’t go through that ordeal again. It was so draining and terrifying to have blood pouring out of my face for almost 8 hours straight. TWICE. The second time was totally my fault and that’s why I’m paranoid about doing anything now.

I also lost a fair amount of followers yesterday. I don’t know why this bothered me so much. I tried to consciously talk myself out of it but I’m just an anxious person who overthinks things. I *know* that most of my followers are not actually reading my posts. That’s the same for anyone who has a lot of followers. Many people just follow your blog in the hopes you’ll follow them back and they never return. I’m okay with that. But I sat there all evening analyzing what I could have said that made people suddenly “not like me”. Pah. As if that even happened. Those of you I actually communicate with are still here, that’s all that matters. And it’s even funnier that it got me so worked up because yesterday was also my biggest day for likes by a LOT. So thank you all for that!

There are things to be positive about, though! My back pain is totally gone. I can stand, walk, run, etc. for as long as I want and feel no pain. I was a skeptic at first but I will vouch for chiropractic doctors from now on. I got one of those “free” books from a Facebook ad… the ones where you just pay shipping and they try to up-sell you on $300 life coaching sessions. I just took the book. It’s actually pretty good though. Nothing revolutionary or mind blowing but I think we should all read a self-help book at least once every few months just to remind us to do these things. I’m reminding myself to keep my head high, a smile on my face, and to at least greet the people I see at work. I really need to work on my confidence and social skills next. I’m naturally the bad kind of introvert… totally isolated and disconnected from the rest of my peers. When I was younger this was a big problem and led to some pretty negative things, which I’ll probably go into in a later post… this one is getting too long.

So, all in all I’m alright. Not a great day. Not my highest point. But it’s already starting to improve. Thanks for listening, as always! You all are great. Hope you crush your days and experience something new and positive.

23 thoughts on “Dealing with Burnout Again

  1. Glad your back is fine now.u r right about the followers.Even I have experienced this.But it doesn’t matter coz I follow those whose content I like..so even if they unfollow me I would still love to read their posts anyways

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know that feeling of not being bothered and for me it signals the start of the slide into depression. Looking after yourself is definitely top priority, fill in your journal/planner and think about what you enjoy doing then schedule some of that in there. You may just be feeling a bit fed up with the medical trauma and worried about it happening again.
    Look after yourself x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The followers will follow….follow you if you have something that truly interests them. It’s a niche thing, not a numbers thing, Brian. No rewards here on WordPress for having more followers like there is on You Tube (ie., money). Self-help books: have you ever read Dale Carnegies, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”? If not, make it your next read. It’s old, but the wisdom within those pages is timeless. That book changed my life, when I was still a teenager. Cheers. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I owned it once but it was back when I bought books and never read them. I’ll have to get it again. I’m not concerned with numbers that much, it’s more of an experiment to see what works. I am not really sure why it bothered me. Like I said, rationally I know that it doesn’t matter.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Health issues get me EVERY. TIME. Gotta slide back into Jesus after some rest. I sure hope the docs can figure out the bleeding in your nose, and if not, a new doctor for sure! We experienced that with one of our kiddos and finally learned she had a hemangioma (spelling?) in her nose. It had to be removed and cauterized but it sure solved the problem. Maybe youโ€™ve addressed this in an earlier blog and I missed it? If so Iโ€™ll get to it. Just the Mom in me showing up again…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It did end up getting cauterized after opening the second time, I’m just paranoid now because the doctor didn’t seem confident at all in his cauterization! First he tried to chemically cauterize it but said the bleed was too bad so he used some sort of wand attached to what looked like a car battery, lol. That did it but he said that sometimes he has to do it twice so “come back if it bleeds again”. It’s been almost two weeks so, logically, I think I’m safe. I am just paranoid.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Sleeping in until 6AM is still early! I slept in until 10:45AM this morning after having a major freak out last night. My electric toothbrush was stolen by a family member and I could not let that shit go. Now my toothbrush is thousands of miles away and who knows if I will get it back. So imagine Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory having a meltdown. That was me last night as I cried myself to sleep.

    What do you think caused the nose bleeds? Is there a way to prevent these nose bleeds or lessen the bleeding/snot events? Iโ€™m sorry you are having an unproductive day. Me as well. Feel better soon ๐Ÿ’•

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh no! Electric toothbrushes are expensive too, I’m sorry. 6AM seems early but it’s only a couple hours before I have to work so I don’t really get much time to do anything if I get up then. I was in a mad rush this morning!

      The nose bleed is because of a ruptured capillary which I’m not 100% sure the cause of.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know right? They arenโ€™t cheap and ironically, they gave this electric toothbrush to me one year for Christmas. Now they took it with them when they left to fly home yesterday. How someone doesnโ€™t recognize their own toothbrush makes 0 sense to me.

        Uh oh! That must have been an intense nosebleed! As long as you are OK and your nose is under control, everything should be okay. ๐Ÿคž

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Just relax! You’re not a robot for God sake!๐Ÿคฃโค๏ธ We all need a down time. And if I was you, I wouldn’t even pay attention to follows, I know I don’t. Because like you said, a lot is empty follows. Just keep posting and engaging with your readers. The success is in your constant readers. And if you can just get 5 or 10 of those you are doing great. It will start to accumulate over time. Just relax and have fun blogging!๐Ÿ˜

    Like

  7. I think your experience of worrying about followers and taking what happens on social media personally is SO universal. I’ve been there. Try to be gentle with yourself. Keep writing and being true to yourself because you have something special to contribute โค

    Liked by 1 person

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