Comedy has always been central to my life and it would be a wonder as to why I never pursued this affinity if I didn’t already know it was because I was a little bit tipsy between the years 2000 and 2018. My comedic sensibilities don’t translate into writing very well, barring a few examples, because I’ve never truly studied how comedy works and because my sense of humor is very undisciplined. I can make a whole room erupt into laughter with an off the cuff remark but I don’t know how I do this; I just have a feeling for what to say.
When I try to write something humorous, I generally sound either like a complete asshole or like I’m trying too hard (because I am, on both counts). Part of me wonders if a component of the problem is that I hold myself back, not wanting to offend people who I honestly don’t even want in my audience.
Therein lies a big problem with my writing throughout my life. In trying to appeal to everybody, I build up a large following on social media platforms of people from all walks of life. While this is satisfying in some regard, it also means that nothing I say means anything to anybody. If you accurately express your opinions, somebody will hate you. It’s just human nature. To be fair, there have been a couple of people on WordPress over the last year who’ve proven themselves to be imbeciles over something that I’d written, but not nearly as many as there should have been! One, a Christian woman who hasn’t felt a man’s touch since her uncle deflowered her, and the other a barely-holding-on alcoholic in “recovery”. Easy targets. I hunger for bigger game.
As ever, this blog continues to be my playground of ideas. I never intend for it to make me famous or wealthy. Rather, if I ever do find my “niche” and “voice”, I’ll burn this blog to cinders and launch a new one completely free of all the baggage that bogs this one down. Who knows, maybe after reading and watching and taking notes, I could have a side-gig in comedic writing? Stranger things have happened. There are plenty of comics in the world whom I don’t think are that funny. I’m also not saying it’s as easy as just knowing some jokes. So much work goes into “funny” and failing at it is in many ways more painful than failing at other things. You have to really put yourself out there and say things about yourself that you might not want people to know. Especially if you’re a reclusive introvert like me.
This Is The Second Section
I put that heading in because I know you, WordPress people. I know you skim. It’s ok! I do it too. This section is about feelings. I realized this morning that I legitimately have two friends. My Facebook friends list contains 59 people which, even for a superficial social media friends list, is pretty low. Whenever I have something exciting or important to say about my life, I scroll down that whole list and don’t feel like clicking anybody’s name apart from two people.
On the one hand I am completely shattered by this revelation. There are a few people on that list whom I’d consider “best-acquaintances”. Like if the world was burning and I had to choose people to be in my cannibal tire-armor tribe, I’d pick them. At worst, they’re a ready supply of meat for trying times. On the other hand, though, the people whom I consider to be my real friends are two of the best friends I’ve ever had and I should be grateful to have people like that in my life. I am grateful. Not neu-self-help “list 3 things you’re grateful for” bullshit, but genuinely happy that they’re there.
I don’t think that I was going anywhere with this section, I just happened to notice it while I was writing this post and I know you thirsty bitches want content.
“Perfect Sound Whatever” is a book by James Acaster that I’m reading. It’s also, not coincidentally, a song by Jeff Rosenstock. I recommend checking both out.