The Downside to “Putting Yourself Out There”

Drama
Haters
Narcissists
Out of control codependent savages

Dogmatic Panic (formerly Prime Recovery) has been going for about two years and in that time I’ve, quite unexpectedly, met some people whom I have come to consider friends. We don’t always agree (I am a slightly right-of-center atheist on a predominantly Christian, Liberal platform after all) but I genuinely care about a number of you which, to be completely honest, I never expected. This was initially just supposed to for me to write brilliant posts about recovery and become a famous sober author (as one does after rehab).

More than once I’ve seen friends of mine, perhaps attacked is too strong a word, criticized for really innocuous things they’ve written here. Just this morning I read a post from a woman who was lambasted for what she chooses to post. It was done in such a passive aggressive and obviously jealous manner that it would have been funny if it didn’t cause actual damage to her self-esteem. I’m not going to point her out here because I know it’s genuinely hurt her.

I’m no champion of the downtrodden or white knight; some of my posts are genuinely offensive (and are meant to be) but they’re not directed at individual people. My writing wasn’t always that way but I actually owe it to haters for helping me find my voice! I have also had many people make narcissistic jabs at my writing over the years which in the moment caused a great deal of anxiety and usually resulted in me deleting the post or at the very least editing large swaths of it.

However, because of people like the woman mentioned above who convinced me to embrace my own unique voice and not shy away from expressing myself, I’ve actually doubled down on the kind of posts that drew the most ire. Even though I’ve forgotten the name and the face, I vividly remember the comments of the first person who tore one of my posts apart and in some way, every flaming trebuchet I fire is dedicated to her.

The price of putting your deepest held beliefs out there is that not everybody agrees with you and, unfortunately, the majority of the human race isn’t intellectually or emotionally developed enough to be able to react in an adult manner. Take the hate in stride, it means you’re speaking from the heart. If nobody ever said anything bad about you, you were probably holding back quite a lot.

Discussion can’t happen when the original statement is so banal that nobody has any objections to it.

10 thoughts on “The Downside to “Putting Yourself Out There”

  1. Haters/trolls are sadly to rife on any forum where they are able to spread their venom. It’s fine to have an alternate opinion, it’s not fine to be abusive. Hope the lady mentioned is ok. It’s good to know there are people like you looking out for us.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. That is what happens, apparently, and it’s all fine because ‘haters gonna hate’. I don’t know about that, I think everyone has the right to his or hers opinion but there is no need to be rude. You can always respectfully disagree.
    I don’t get that, I mean, when you don’t like the post, why stay and read it? Can’t they scroll on? There are more than 10 million blogs I think.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I couldn’t agree more with this post. At the end of the day what you choose to write on your blog has to do with you and it’s is completely your choice. If someone finds it offensive that is their problem not yours. Just something I’ve learnt over the last few days.

    Ps. She really appreciates this post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m glad you decided to go the direction you did with keeping your posts up! I don’t see it as a case of “not letting them win” like some have suggested, just staying true to yourself. 🙂 You’re awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. I always say it’s because people feel like the internet is a place where they can publish their off-handed, under-your-breath comments and feel like people actually care about them. Very little thought goes into their comments and in the example I posted about from a friends blog, it was obvious that the person who wrote the bad comment was just trying to sound intelligent and superior even though it was really transparent.

      Thanks for the comment!

      Liked by 1 person

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