Woah, Step Back!

I had to slow my roll this weekend… I started finding WordPress to be a place of stress rather than the community I had enjoyed for the last few years. No fault of anyone else’s, it’s something I put on myself in truth. I started feeling an obligation to keep up with everyone’s blogs and to be completely honest that just isn’t possible!

Life has really taken the wheel recently and I don’t have that routine I had when I was working full time in which I check WordPress every morning at 7:30. Now, days go by between my visits and some of you have posted four or five times by then (props to you, I can’t do it). This made me feel guilty for some reason; as if I had a responsibility to read everything that was posted. I get that way… WordPress is far from the first network in which I’ve had that impulse.

So I had to just take a minute and acknowledge what I was feeling and tell myself it’s not a big deal. Ever do that? It actually does work, sometimes.

I’m still very tired all of the time. I do start writing a blog post almost every day but can very rarely bring myself to finish it. The more serious and passionate I am about the topic, the less likely I am to finish it, coincidentally. I get halfway through and this feeling of all the life being sucked out of me creeps over my body, I tell myself nothing I’ve written appropriately captures what I want to say, and I erase it. That’s a good way to visualize a feeling I get quite frequently, actually. Like my body is a thermometer and my willpower is the mercury inside that almost instantly drains from my head right out of my feet… whenever I’m in the middle of something I truly care about. It’s been a real hurdle throughout my life.

Sometimes I win that fight though. Like tonight. I really wanted to stop writing half way through the last paragraph, lol. I’ll finish though… and publish this.

Tiny victories.

12 thoughts on “Woah, Step Back!

  1. Haha! Congrats on your “tiny victory.” I know what you mean by “nothing I’ve written appropriately captures what I want to say, and I erase it.” This is why I only post once a week, but I take the time to write what I really want to say. (I might be a LITTLE O.C.D. about it … :/ )
    It would seem that with being in quarantine we’d have a lot more time to write, but that’s just it – EVERYBODY has had more time to write! So no, do NOT feel that you have to read everyone else’s, especially when they’re posting several times a day. You gotta do you. 😉
    I am starting a system where I grit my teeth and delete anything labeled “New Post” unless (1) the title is so intriguing I can’t resist reading it, (2) that person just read and commented on something I wrote, and I feel like returning the favor, or (3) I know that blogger to be an exceptional writer that always enlightens me, or reminds me of an old truth in a unique, original way, or gives me a good belly laugh. (Better yet, more than one of those.) No time these days to read the same old same old. I’m not getting any younger … obviously. :/

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’ve also had those twinges of guilt for not reading everything on WordPress, and then have to remind myself that it isn’t logical.

    And good for you for going ahead and publishing this.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m glad you shared your post. Word press should be a place of support and individual preference. You blog, read and comment as is comfortable for you and if it was making you feel emotions of guilt and stress then you did exactly the right thing to take a step away. I choose to not follow many people because I know who I like to keep up with. Those people I connect with wouldn’t mind if I missed a post or two of theirs. They would understand. That prevents any guilt and that way word press remains one of my self care tools, not another means of stress and worry!!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I fee the exact same way at the moment! I’ve been leaving it a week and then I have the stress of feeling as though I have to scroll through all the posts I’ve missed and read them.

    I think right now we all understand that we’re just trying to get through each day ☺️ Hope you’re keeping well!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. That’s great! ☺️ I’m having good days and bad days. I think the next step will be harder for me. At the moment my partners working from home but once he goes back not sure how this will be for me if we’re still social distancing!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey, you got through in the end and it was well worth it. At least for me as the reader anyways.
    Nothing like checking blogs of strangers and coming up with myriad topics. Truly enjoyable. Hope you can overcome the urge not to write. WRITE THE WRONG!
    Thanks and much appreciated for sharing

    Liked by 2 people

  6. A friend at work was complaining that he wasn’t doing anything with his life, then he realized he runs nearly everyday and just went vegetarian for some reason. I told him, “You gotta take the little victories when you can,” and good job getting a post out. Even minor work on unpublished blog posts is still something.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Absolutely adore this post. Can relate on all points. I perceive it as failure on my part too, and it me so ashamed, and like I just want to disappear sometimes… then I take a break and it feels fine again. Thanks for sharing this. 💛

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Thank you for saying what has obviously been on lots of people’s minds. I can’t keep up with reading everything posted. It is too much.
    Sending you lots of love ❤️ and a deep breath knowing it is okay.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s