Over a month ago, I decided to publish more serious writing here as I’m never pleased with my mish-mash of self-aggrandizing and self-loathing journal entries. At the same time, I deleted the majority of my social media accounts (what was left anyway, I haven’t been big on that sort of thing since quitting alcohol). Although I feared I might become even more lonely than I already am, the opposite happened. I spoke to friends more often, in a healthy way rather than in the Twitter-inspired shower thought diatribes we’re all so accustomed to, and made a small number of new friends. I “trashed” all of the old content on this site and while it still exists in hiding, I doubt I’ll ever take the time to go through it and re-publish the ones I like.
Writing that I’m proud of is quite hard to do though so it became apparent that if I was going to wait until I had something I felt deserved to be posted, I’d never post anything on this blog again. Reasons for this are numerous but chief among them are the Adderall I take which has made me a straight A student and improved my social skills dramatically but makes me quite unwilling to do anything that requires a lot of multi-tasking. The way I write really requires multitasking, as well as being genuinely busy for the first time in my life. Between two schools, a full time job, and an obsession with songwriting, there simply isn’t much room for an hour of writing every day.
Now I begin with a clean slate. This will continue to be for informal thoughts and commentary rather than the more serious writing I’ve been doing. Perhaps I’ll get back to writing more about recovery and addiction now and again as it’s something I’ve really started to notice in people around me during lockdown season (which signs are indicating we will return to shortly).
I’ve also unfollowed a great deal of the blogs I was following. I had something like 500 blogs on that list and over 75% of them weren’t even active, the rest I simply didn’t ever actually read. Funny enough, I was getting more followers per day during the two months my blog was inactive than when I was actively writing.