Last night I signed back up for OkCupid. I know, I know, every time I do this it only takes a few days for it to completely sap me of self-esteem! I’m trying to stay positive this time around… I think part of the reason I struggle with dating is because, historically, I’ve cared too much. I’m in a different place now, sober and kind of killing it at life. That said, it’s next to impossible to convey that through an online dating profile without sounding like an arrogant douche bag. So I don’t. I’m keeping my profile very minimal with just some pictures and basic info about what is going on in my life.
Do I mention that I’m sober? Heck to the no. My profile says that I never drink, smoke, or do drugs. When you read that on someone’s profile it either means they ALWAYS drink, smoke, and do drugs, or they are recovering addicts. Hopefully I come across as the latter to anyone who looks that far. It’s difficult though… a lot of the woman who pique my interest mention right away that their ideal weekend is drinking craft beer. Well, while I have no problem dating someone who drinks I’m sure that drinking by yourself while a guy you barely know stares dreamily into your eyes is not that exciting of a time.
OkCupid has changed a lot over the years. You have to display your real name now (well you don’t have to but they’ve done away with user names) and you can’t send anyone a message unless they “like” you back. Having known plenty of women who have been berated online by drunk guys at 2am, I support the new system. But if you’re like me and don’t have a Hollywood face it puts you at a disadvantage. Also not working in my favor is that I’m so afraid of coming across as one of those drunk douche bags that my flirting game is like talking to your brother about what is for dinner. Conversations rarely go anywhere romantic.
I’ve already gotten two emails stating that someone has liked my profile. They give you an array of about twelve people and say that your secret admirer is ONE of these ladies. Well there are eleven women who are virtually supermodels and one who looks like she hasn’t showered since 1985 so I’m going to take a wild shot in the dark on that one. Remaining positive though.